Outings seem to become more fun as I grow older. Isn't it strange? Perhaps precisely because I am growing older that is why gatherings will make one feel young again, as if we were in JC once more. It's a strange feeling isn't it? That when a bunch of JC ex-classmates get together, we don't really talk about the agonies of being 20 plus. Rather, time seems to have stood still and our impression of each other is still the same as when we were in JC.
There's always a feeling of nostalgia thinking of the past when we get together. Not knowing that 10 or 20 years down the road, will we still meet up? Or will each be so caught up with his or her own family that friendships are foregone and meet-ups aren't even on the list of priorities.Labels: Outing
Serendipity believed today at 2:40 AM
What a productive day despite mistakenly turning up at 8.30am for a workshop which I needn't attend after all since I'm leaving soon. However, that forced me to wake up real early (yawn...) to get to school and I could use the 3 over hours to mark and settle some stuff for tomorrow's lesson plus also prepare a sample for tomorrow's art lesson. So it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Sometimes I wonder why some kids need attention so much when at home, they already have the attention of at least a parent who's not working (not talking about those irresponsible parents but those who actually do take an interest in their children's work...). There are some kids who just can't wait for instructions but keep going to my desk in the classroom to as what we'd be doing next. It takes a lot not to snap at them. What's wrong with going with the flow and waiting for instructions? Instead of asking something that is going to happen. Even after I wrote the schedule for the day including "PE", I had people who kept asking every period if there's PE and when I asked (loudly) 2 children to go ahead to collect the balls to bring to the basketball court, someone still kept on asking me if there's PE.
I think I know why I am becoming more and more blur. There are so many things to do at the same time and yet I have to repeat every minute detail all the time that it's making me jumpy and end up not being able to focus more than I should. Just yesterday, I actually took the bus from the bus stop that's on the wrong side. "-_- It's a bus I take everyday somemore. I happily boarded it but came to my senses (fortunately) by the next bus stop.
Slap me to wake me up please.
Serendipity believed today at 11:01 PM
It's heartening to see an mass email from our reporting officer with a special mention of my name about her appreciation of my hard work after she's checked through our kids' files and Maths exercise book. Although my class didn't do well (with the level summary being flashed on screen during yesterday's meeting), I did feel better knowing that my hard work did not go unnoticed and that if I've done my best, my conscience's clear.
After this half year experience, I've come to realize that it all boils down to attitudes of children, rather than being born smart or anything. More important is the family background of each pupil. How supportive parents are... how parents shield their children... how parents can blame everyone and anyone except themselves and their own children...parents doing homework and corrections for their kids... All these will contribute to the children's attitudes towards learning at the end of the day. I really hope that such parents will eventually wakeup and come to their senses if not, they will be the ones who are causing their children's failure in the education system.
3 more weeks to go and it's sayonara to the little ones. Need to get them something as a gift :)
Serendipity believed today at 1:46 PM
As the day of school reopen draws near, I'm filled with apprehension again. Actually it's not about teaching the little ones. Rather, it's more of NIE... Have been hearing mixed reviews about it. There are people telling me NIE life is super hectic especially it being a 1 year course, which means it's even more intensive than those people who opt for a degree in education straight after their A-levels. I've also been told that with me being in NUS before, this 1 year shouldn't be a problem at all since it's only well, 1 year. Anyway, I try not to let people's opinions about NIE affect me. Come to think of it, none of the stuff they said helped much too haha...
I'm also a little excited because can get to know new people. Can get to know new friends too. I supposed 1 year really will pass very quickly. It's the observation of my lessons that can make me break out into cold sweat and eveything would seem surreal again.
1 step at a time I guess.
Serendipity believed today at 11:17 PM
After so much delay, I finally fork out the time to bake the chocolate cake! Don't be fooled by the look (especially after slicing) it's edible and kind of nice if you're someone who likes chocolate! It's super chocolatey so it's not very wise to eat too much at one go. In fact, I don't think anyone can eat a lot at one go, with so much chocolate and mousse. It's crazy!Serendipity believed today at 11:39 PM
I'm all ready to try out the chocolate cake recipe tomorrow! Every time when I'm about to try out a new recipe, I feel all excited inside. I hope it will turn out to be a success if not the (expensive) ingredients will go to waste. Ok, how bad can chocolate cake be right? Either superb or so-so haha... Left with buying bananas to slice and put in between the layers of the sponge cake.
What happens when an sms failed to go through and yet one thought that it had? It happened today when just before a movie, I sms-ed my dad that I'd be having my dinner outside and yet still received a missed call from my mum. Saw it only after the movie so assumed that my dad already told her about my msg. Anyway only at about 11 then I saw that there were 6 missed calls from my dad who tried to reach me at 10 something. "-_- They were worried that something had happened to me. Maybe from an outsider's point of view, I should think from my parents' point of view. However, it's not the first time that they worry over nothing. It's also a burden on me when parents are neurotic. It's precisely because I always think from their points of view that's why often part of my mind will be on them... on home... Sometimes really feel like a kite. No matter how high or far I seemingly fly, a string is always attached.
Did bring up the subject of travelling alone. I really don't mind. In fact, I'll feel very free. However, mum reacted so negatively towards the idea that I dropped it there and then. This is one reason why I've a fear towards marriage. A relationship is fine. Marriage will come with a whole lot of expectations from all sorts of people (whether I like it or not..) and I might lose myself in the process of fulfilling others' wishes. I don't wanna end up being a kite to a caged bird with invisible cage bars.
Will try to overcome it in slowly but I really need my freedom and not have to worry about people worrying about me.
Serendipity believed today at 12:43 AM
It's very satisfying to see leg hair coming off with the cream when the cream was being scrapped off. Veet cream is really easy to use and convenient, just 3 minutes and leg hair will be removed. Just scrap off the cream with the plastic spatula that comes with the box and voila! Clean, smooth, hairless legs :D
Serendipity believed today at 10:58 PM
This is a beautiful song by Regina Spektor. It was featured in The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian. I've managed to insert it into my blog but the blog entries seem to take a while to appear haha...
The Call
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye..
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye..
Serendipity believed today at 2:45 AM
I'm watching again online in the middle of the night, nibbling on junk food when I should be sleeping. I've bought another pair of ear plugs from Daiso (rubber ones this time round...). Tried them on yesterday and seemed to be able to block out noises very well. However, the downside was I couldn't really turn to my sides because the earplugs would cause discomfort since they're not the sponge ones "-_-
I watched yet another tragic movie a couple of days back - Boy A. It's an Australian movie judging from the accents and slangs they used in the movie. It's a reminder of how ex-convicts very rarely get a second chance in life. Unbiased ones that is. In this movie, the protagonist, Jack was a 24 year old guy who had helped to kill a girl when he was at a primary school age. His friend was the real heartless creep while he probably did it in a moment of impulse. Of course he paid dearly by spending all those years in prison. His friend committed suicide because he couldn't handle it. Jack fortunately had an uncle who was very patient and who really wanted him to turn over a new leaf. He helped him find a job and to start anew in everything. However, the job was gotten by lying about the crime committed.
Jack found a girlfriend soon who was also his colleague. One day while Jack was out with another colleague, he helped to rescue a girl trapped in a car. He was deemed a hero and even had his picture in the newspapers. Not long later for some reason, people soon began to discover his identity because the news had broadcast his release and even showed a picture of what they thought he'd grown up to look like. His face was once again in the papers and reporters even found out where he's living. He was fired when his boss found out about the murder and his girlfriend also left him. The colleague who was also supposed to be his only friend shunned him. Finally he decided to escape. At a river, he opened a letter which had a drawing of him. It was sent to him by the girl whom he'd saved. In it, she told him he's her angel. In reality, to others, he's a monster. Despite being jailed, no one could forgive him for the murder that took place.
He was so desperate that he decided to commit suicide right there at the river. Not before leaving a voice message for his uncle and the colleague.
His heroic act could not undo what he'd done when he was little. In this society, acts of kindness and goodness can be forgotten quickly but a moment of impulse and a act of sin can never be forgiven nor atoned.
Serendipity believed today at 1:16 AM
It's a pity that we are not eligible for single occupancy rooms at the hostels. I'll probably sign up for it if allowed single occupancy rooms. Sharing is a complete no no. Don't know what kind of weirdo or shit I might end up with, with this luck of mine.
Really can't stand the barking anymore. Every morning it's the same thing. One would expect me to get used to it but no, it gets on my nerves more and more. It's worst now that it's the holidays and I expect myself to be able to sleep peacefully and not be disturbed by any human or animal.
When I show my unhappiness or anger, I get accused of being difficult. At times like these, I can feel nothing but betrayed only. I've never told them off for being inconsiderate. Yet, am I now not entitled to show my displeasure when obviously the barks are getting to me? The couple doesn't pay the price because when they are at home, it's only when they wake up then the dog gets to leave the bedroom during which he will bark like hell when people walk pass or talk outside. Even then, he is afraid of his master so he doesn't behave so badly when the master is around. What to do? His henpecked master is so blessed.
Feel like my damn life is so cursed with such people around me who do not try to understand. If I have the money to support myself overseas and if I am not pulled back by conscience, I would pack my bags and leave maybe for good for somewhere else where I do not know anyone. So long as they have 1 son then it's good enough. At that time, let's see how well he will look after them or will he kick them aside once he's married.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Serendipity believed today at 2:34 PM
I'm toying with the idea of cutting my hair. As in cut until shoulder length. I can't cut until chin length because my face shape doesn't suit a hairstyle that is that short, besides, I have the scar to think of. With shorter hair, it'll be easier to wash though I still got to wash it everyday. It will also make me look younger.
On the other hand, I'm also thinking of rebonding my hair and then curl it. This will make me look older.
The other day when I was queuing up for Mac for supper. A went in later because he was withdrawing money and there were a couple of guys sitting outdoors while having their meals. A told me her overheard one of them telling the other to go in later to buy something because there's a "xiao mei mei queuing". I was the only girl queuing and the other was a guy.
Haha... I guess I should feel flattered that at age 25, with a height of 1.7m, I can still be mistaken as a xiao mei mei and those guys were like maybe uni age? Studying for their exams? It's soooo funny lor... I supposed I do look young without makeup :P.
And hopefully I remain this way. Hohoho... I have to admit that I'm one of those who fear ageing but who wouldn't hide or lie about their ages. I fear looking like an auntie because one day I'm going to be an auntie so why should I look like 1 now? You only get to be young once. Sorry that I'm rambling on and on. It must be the chocolates and candy I've eaten - 2 small MARS bars, 1 small box of Smarties and a few Endearmints. Shiok!
So what should I do with my hair? I'm sorry but I'm just such an indecisive person. I'm not like a friend who is very siao1 sa3. Something that I really admire about her. She wouldn't hesitate to watch a movie twice. She wouldn't hesitate to change the look of her hair. Everything seems to be impromptu. Such people tend to take life lightly, which is something I have to learn from her more.
Serendipity believed today at 2:04 AM
I only found out today that my cousin is in the National Netball Team all this while. She's actually studying at SMU and I have always thought she's representing SMU in those games that she's playing and that she travels overseas with her team mates in order to gain exposure by playing against the foreigners. I never knew she's a NATIONAL PLAYER! *faints*
Wow... I was so so impressed when I found out about it through her mum. She's the cousin I went to Japan and the States with the past years. She's slightly taller than me (height runs in this side of the family...) and have always been very sporty.
Anyway, she's going to HK next month and Australia towards the end of the year to play against the foreign teams. All the best! :p
Serendipity believed today at 12:56 AM
May a new oven come soon.
Wish to do some baking but how to without an oven? Haha...
Going to take a break from papercutting so leaving the silhouette for another time. I've often felt that during holidays, my life seems more productive and meaningful. I don't rush things for the sake of rushing unlike when working whereby although I can work fast and hard, at the end of the day, there's a seemingly empty feel in my heart and mind.
Don't know when I will have the money to have my own little business. Maybe not in this lifetime especially when earning only peanut shells (how to have enough to set up own business?). Working till die for others when at the end of the day it's not your own business/ company seems like a dumb thing to do. In fact it IS the dumbest thing on earth but that's the way it goes in life. Almost the whole world is doing it. Even if you were to do the thing you like, at the end of the day, when it's working for someone, you don't have full control over it and companies really suck your blood dry to make you pay for every cent you earn. In the end, it seeps your energy and what seems like fun in the beginning feels draining at the end. No point escaping too. Moving to somewhere else is just an illusion that you have control over matters. At the end of the day, it's the same everywhere.
Serendipity believed today at 2:28 PM
In the midst of cutting and cutting and cutting. Practice makes perfect. I could hold the papercutting knife better after some time.
Completed! The square in the middle is not meant to be hollow like this. I'm probably going to do a little silhouette and put a bit of a mounting tape behind it to make it pop out. By the way, the above is supposed to be a rose bush. Toying with the idea of making a whimsical silhouette of probably a unicorn or a fairy :D I was holding on to the finished product while taking the picture which explains why certain parts look bent.
My fingers are aching like mad now. But looking at the end product gives me a great sense of satisfaction. It's actually quite therapeutic to cut out the pieces one by one but not something I will do all the time haha... requires lots of patience and loads of TIME!Serendipity believed today at 1:48 AM
Haven't been having the best of luck these days. On 3 non-consecutive days, when it was initially bright and sunny, after washing my clothes, the sky turned grey not long later resulting in having to bring the clothes back into the flat and the process of drying would be longer than expected.
Have been thinking of baking the awfully chocolate cake with banana and have been shopping at different places for the ingredients, which include coffee liquour. However, just yesterday, there's something wrong with the oven while mum was trying to use it and it caused a short-circuit in the house. It meant that the oven is 1 step into the grave.
Wanna watch a super hilarious movie at A's house but on the 2 (non-consecutive) days I was there, the downloading stopped halfway. He said that on the day between the 2 days when I was there, he managed to download the whole of it (just to test it out).
Finally, today when I wanted to continue to watch Xing Suo online, it stated that the website's temporarily unavailable. "-_-
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I finally finished reading the rather perverse book titled Perfume. About a guy with a super keen (almost inhuman) sense of smell who was obsessed with creating the most potent perfume in the world. He dreamt of even playing God by creating scents to lead people on. In the end, he did succeed in this ultimate task in his life, not before having to kill 25 virgins to rob them of their scent. This movie was shown in the cinemas (last year?).
Next on my list is non-fiction book about the author himself. Titled - My Story. It's by Dave Pelzer. I've just started reading it today although it's something I bought quite a while ago. 3 books in 1. All about this author. It revealed his life story. How he was tormented physically and emotionally by his perverse mother. Psychotic I would even say... Here are some of the inhuman acts she did to him...
1) She forced him to eat his baby brother shit from the diapers which of course he couldn't bring himself to do it and so she shoved his face into the diapers. The shove caused his nose to bleed and he was breathing in shit and blood because he shut his mouth real tight.
2) She didn't give him dinner (for days) and made him sleep under the table with only newspaper as blankets. Dinner was like only about once every 3 days and only when he managed to finish household chores by the stipulated time.
3) His breakfast consisted of cereal leftover in his brother's bowl. He was so hungry that he had to steal from his classmates' bags and even stole and ate frozen food from his school's cafeteria.
4) His mum found out about the theft of the frozen food and forced him to vomit out into the toilet bowl. She later made him scoop out the vomit from the toilet bowl and forced him to eat the vomit again.
5) His dad who was initially trying to help him secretly (dunno why so weak..) gave up trying too and that's when the author started to hate his dad too. Imagine he was stabbed by his mum who was drunk and when his dad came back, he didn't even bother to look at the wound and just asked the author to continue with the dishes so that his mum wouldn't get mad again "-_-
6) She forced him to drink ammonia, dishwashing liquid, etc. The ammonia burnt his tongue...
7) He resorted to digging from the trash can to look for any scraps of dinner and when his mum found out about it, she deliberately threw out a piece of meat which was already spoilt so as to teach him a lesson about digging from the trash can.
8) She wanted to burnt him on the stove but his siblings came back in time.
9) His mum after starving him for 6 days, put a plate of leftovers in front of him and told him to finish up in 2 min but when he started to reach for the food, she snatched away the plate and dumped the food into the trash can.
10) She made him lie naked in a bathtub of cold water with his face and body facing down (maybe just allow head to tilt so that could breathe...) even when there's a Halloween party going on downstairs where his siblings were enjoying themselves.
11) She made him look for neighbours' lawns to mow so as to earn the money herself.
12) A couple of days before the social worker came to visit them, she pretended to make up with him and promised to be a good mother. She led him on for the 2 days so that he would lie to the social worker. Upon his realization, he hated himself for believing in her charade.
It's so sick I tell you. He didn't know what caused the change in her. Just knew that she derived pleasure out of torturing him. She wasn't mean to the other siblings. So, somehow, he's the targeted one. The above were just some of the things that I read so far. However, it's really saddening and stirred up lots of emotions even for a reader. I can't believe that the dad didn't do anything helpful apart from sneaking him bits of food now and then. Why was he so afraid of the mum despite knowing full well that his son was suffering under her?
So far, I've finished 4 short chapters and I can tell you that it's a good read. Moreover it's based on a true story so it's worth the time.
Serendipity believed today at 8:52 PM
Serendipity believed today at 9:42 AM
I can feel my stomach burning. I ate my beloved spicy McNuggets (again) although they are super spicy? Aren't I a sadist? My stomach can be rather sensitive. Very spicy food can make me wanna poo poo. However, I like to think of my system as being (very) efficient. Even when I was young as in primary school age, whenever I had a meal, after that, I would have to go to toilet to do big business. It's just very natural and I don't even remember the last time I had constipation. Probably also because my mum tends to be a healthy cook (no deep fried stuff at home for us..) and will definitely cook vegetables for each meal. Like I've mentioned before, I do admire my mum for being able to go out to work and yet come home to cook a balanced meal for dinner everyday instead of taking the easy way out of da-baoing. Not everyone can juggle that.
I've finally decided to get a PDA instead of a printer. I've figured out that a printer will take up too much space in my already crowded room and I absolutely am against the idea of having more wires lying around in my room. 1 from my lappy is already enough! Guess what? We went to Sim Lim today to check things out and I saw a sleek HP PDA that retailed at $499. But A's best friend who's working at HP can get me a good deal (since he's entitled to staff price) at only $399! LESS $100!!!
LESS $100!
LESS $100!
That's a lot lor. $100 leh. Therefore, there's no need to fork out extra money from my already torn pocket to pay for it :P
Serendipity believed today at 1:31 AM
At last, I've finally taken the first step towards committing to something that is life-long. Haha.. No not marriage. But insurance. The reason for my initial hesitation was the instability of my job. Without a guaranteed fixed income, why would I want to burden myself with paying premiums each month? Not that I've finally got enlightened about the career path I should take. However more or less whether I like it or not, I will be in this job for the next 4 years. So why not sign now? Signing on at a later age would require a higher premium to be paid each month for the same coverage too.
Not an easy decision to make since it means having less spending money each month (if I wanna see the amount in my bank book grow..). At least if I suddenly drop dead in the near future, people can benefit from it so something good will result from my death haha...
Serendipity believed today at 1:27 PM
Today I felt really handicapped because I forgot to bring along my ezlink card when I left the house. What happened was because my wallet is falling apart now, at times, I will use my purse instead if I feel that there's nothing much to bring (meaning not many cards and such...). Unfortunately when I took out my cash, it slipped my mind to take out my ezlink card because it was out of sight. Had to pay by cash when I boarded the bus. I didn't want to alight and then go home to take my card because it's a direct bus to Chinatown, which once I missed it, I would have to wait half an hour for the next one. Even after withdrawing money at Chinatown, I had to look for a place whereby I could buy something to get small change to pay for bus fare to Tanjong Pagar (to settle the tailor thingie...). Good thing the GTMs (General Ticketing Machines) at MRT stations accept notes.
Something small that is often taken for granted of could pose that much of an inconvenience when forgotten haha... I guess I double take it for granted because I never even have to top up my card since it will top up by itself through Giro :D For those of you who aren't using Giro for your ezlink card, you will not know that inconvenience will be lessen because you don't need to bother about how much is left in your exlink card. It's ok if you're at the MRT station where you can top it up easily but imagine you're on a bus and you happen not to have small change "-_- That would be so irritating right? :P
Serendipity believed today at 6:10 PM
It's strange that a parent could email me during the holidays to ask me what homework there was for the child. The child was absent on the last day of school but a few days before that, over the Vesak Day holidays, she was supposedly "sick" for 5 days. Dad sounded dodgy when I called to enquire about her absence. Yet if she was that sick, why wasn't there an MC when she came back? If you are concerned about her schoolwork, why wait until 1 week after the holidays started then you email me to ask? Did it just SUDDENLY occur to you that you child's still schooling and there MIGHT be homework during the holidays?
Here's what happened on I called on Tuesday since Monday was Vesak Day and on Friday she was already absent.
Me: Y***** hasn't been to school for a few days, is she ok? What happened to her?
Dad: errr...
Me: Is she very sick?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Did she go see a doctor?
Dad: err... yes.
Me: Ok, let her rest well.
Dad: Ok, thank you.
There are parents who think that just because the mid-year exams were over, their children are free from school totally. Worst still, must stay at home to look after younger sibling?!?!
Sometimes, it's the parents who ruin their children.
It really irritates me. Nope, don't judge me for judging. At times, facts are just facts and choices are just plain straightforward, yet they choose to pick this path.
Serendipity believed today at 2:38 PM
In the midst of cutting and cutting and cutting. Practice makes perfect. I could hold the papercutting knife better after some time.
Completed! The square in the middle is not meant to be hollow like this. I'm probably going to do a little silhouette and put a bit of a mounting tape behind it to make it pop out. By the way, the above is supposed to be a rose bush. Toying with the idea of making a whimsical silhouette of probably a unicorn or a fairy :D I was holding on to the finished product while taking the picture which explains why certain parts look bent.
Corsage from a friend's wedding night 2 months ago. Of course it's no longer around :P It's unintentional but doesn't it look as if there's a spotlight on it?
Caught in the act of smoking. Looking like ah old man (with a moustache) with a cigarette in his mouth.
His favourite sleeping position. The side style. You can't see his face because of his ears :P