I'm hungry. So hungry I could eat a cow. If I'm lucky, I would be able to eat at say...1.30?
Feeling carnivorous at this point of time. I've always been quite carnivorous come to think of it. An all vegetable meal makes me feel proud of myself and satisfies my mind, lying to myself that I am on my way to becoming a healthy, vibrant person. Unfortunately, that simply does not satisfy my stomach nor my heart's desires.
Worst of all, I'm down with a cold. My arrogance caused it :(
I've always believed that when it comes to a minor illness like a cold, it's mind over anything else. If someone living under the same roof were to be sick, and you were to be worried that you'd catch it too, chances are, you definitely will.
However, this time round. I can only attribute it to my severe lack of sleep and I can only blame myself for that. Watching late night TV for the past few days before yesterday and baking and decorating until the wee hours yesterday. Wanted the bakes to be a surprise and I sure hope she will be although they taste a tad too sweet "-_-
Dress up so nicely today also no use :( when all I wanna do right now is to hug my bolster and sleep until dinnertime.
I wonder if I heard correctly that we would leave at 11am today. These days I'm getting blur and more and more spaced out. Forgetful too. Maybe it's premature senile setting in.
When I was looking at the computer screen about half an hour ago. A thought crossed my mind. It suddenly occurred to me that I was getting more knowledgeable with all the reading of various types of books as well as training my mind to think more in-depth about slightly more philosophical matters but my life seemed alarmingly stagnant. The sudden realization hit me and made me think of the last time when I really felt my life was progressing meaningfully and fulfillingly.
But yet, what would be considered as "progressing"?
Experiences perhaps. Personal experiences that I could share with people and not just information I could divulge to friends just 'coz of a few books that I had read or something. I don't mean the experience that naturally comes with age but rather experiences which greatly impact my life and which I hope would or could help others too.
I don't know if readers know what I mean. For all I know, the next time I were to read this entry, I might also not know what I was writing about too. Anyway just having gan chu now.. Would probably pass soon though it'd remain as if something is nagging at the back of my mind.
There's another thing I've always been thinking of. I seem to be like 2 people living in 1 body. No I'm not schizo, nor have a a split personality (not that I myself can tell, perhaps someone can assure me..). But I have this tendency to live my life as myself who is making the choices in life. and also as a third party looking at myself as if I am someone else looking on at me. This might be because I tend to be too critical and analytical towards myself in many aspects. It's so weird and it makes me think twice about many things. Whether it's about doing or saying something.
Or maybe I am just thinking too much about things which is making me bonkers.
Time to pack up. *Yawn*Labels: random ramblings
Serendipity believed today at 10:28 AM
