Have you ever had a dream coming true? Well, a dream of mine just did today. Of all days. New Year 2008...
2 nights ago, I dreamt that the couple got married. It was a total nightmare ok? Then today, he mentioned before lunch about his intention to register his marriage in about 9 months later.
My heart skipped a beat when I heard that. But I was so occupied by the news that it only occurred later that I dreamt of the news 2 nights ago! It wasn't the same setting though or it would have been downright creepy. Perhaps I should have known this day would come but still...
Actually I don't really know what to feel. Having mixed feelings now. Kind of sad. Sad that he's made such a permanent choice when there are many out there who are better in many aspects. Sad because my parents, especially my mum, would probably have to be the one doing the most work. Sad also because I feel I'm losing a bro because I don't think after he moves out, I'll visit him at his house or anything though moving out wouldn't take place so quickly w/o a home to call their own.
Actually I feel in a way, we have already lost him. We've never had our own family get together (meaning just the 4 of us) for a long long time. Don't even remember the last time man. The girl always bring herself to join in whenever we have gatherings even with relatives. It's probably her insecurity at work. His attendance simply means her presence as well.
Someone told me just let him go ahead with it and suffer for the rest of his life. I don't think that's very consoling although when each individual makes a choice, he or she must be responsible for it. He is after all, my sibling and despite him standing on her side always although not in a super obvious way, I guess blood ties are nevertheless, still blood ties.
Listening to Pachelbel’s Canon in D now. It’s the piano version which is my favourite. I used to have the violin version and now I even have the orchestra version (which is a very very long piece indeed). It's kind of ironic that I'm listening to such a beautiful piece. Do you know that this piece (usually the piano) is quite often used for weddings too? And yet I'm listening to it under such undesirable circumstance.
Oh ya, and why New Year of all days? After unfortunate events that happened recently, I've been feeling quite superstitious about stuff. Was hoping that 2008 will mean a fresh and happy start and yet it has to be marked by this instead ...
I sure hope she treats him well because she sure benefits from this.
In the meantime, I'll try to psycho myself.Labels: Uncategorized
