Something interesting happened today in my life. I decided to pop by the polyclinic to get a doctor's referral letter to consult the doctor at the skin centre for what else but my face problem. Then there's the polyclinic doctor who seemed too interested in my job that I almost felt I had to spill out everything to him "-__-. He seemed to have mentally calculated that at 25 years old, perhaps I'm too old to be studying?
Then he asked if I'm doing my practicum now and how long is this program that I'm doing at NIE. Even asked if I regretted going into it. Hello? I'm not your friend and we're only meeting for the first time, isn't it abit assuming that everyone should be regretting that decision? He also asked if I'm going to teach at a primary or secondary school and he seemed to look really wise when he told me something I already knew - that for pri sch, parents are the ones we really got to handle. I nearly asked him if he's a parent himself and whether he gave his child's teacher a bad time hahaha... But no lah, I decided not to be so mean coz maybe he's just enthusiastic about talking to patients since I suspect he doesn't have much experience in this field (with him looking quite young).
My conclusion was he must have seen many teacher patients each day and each giving him a negative comment about what they're doing.
Nevertheless, it was an interesting experience given that my life tends to be quite boring usually. But then, for once, I also suddenly feel that at 25 years old, I'm not exactly considered young anymore :*(
These days I can get quite emo. I don't know if it's because of the weather or the air but I do get depressed. I would suddenly stop what I'm doing and ask myself what do I actually look forward to each day when I wake up and can I remember the last time I woke up feeling rejuvenated and feeling a sense of purpose in life. Sadly, I cannot remember. I will think of the people around me and then knowing that they are moving on with their lives (or the next chapter of their lives) and then feel even more sentimental. Even my dear IRC friend from JC days is getting married and wants to invite me to his wedding next month.
Then I will look at my compiled list of deadlines and think to myself that these are the only things that I am working towards now. Isn't that sad? And the only pleasure I get is from striking out all those that I have completed.
Hello? I'm 25...
I'm sick of studying.
I really am. This sudden realization from a couple of days back.
I finally understand how it's tough for people to work and then try to get back to studying. The feeling is different. There's the been- there- done- that feeling that seeps all forms of joy out of something. There's a constant look out for "What's next?" instead.
But when I watch the news and hear the word "recession" that pops out occasionally, I feel that I really ought to be thankful that I'm safe in a shell *just that I need the shell to open wider for me to have a breather*. Mum said recently that there are some people who are not cut out for studying and that when they look at books, they get turned off and these people end up being poorly educated or end up as drop outs. Thus, I should be thankful that God did not create me to be that way.
Hahaha... I disagree with such thinking because to me, it all boils down to effort. Yes, it's true that some people with perverse thinking love to study and have exams but how many of such people are there? Not all highly educated people love studying. We study because we know the importance of studying and not because we are dying to mug for that special exam day just so to forget most of the things soon after that.
Ok but this point leads to nothing in particular lah... Just wanna echo what a few tutors have said to us before - "Life is unfair anyway"...
How true...
Serendipity believed today at 6:56 PM
